Should we make a move to find our love ones?
To answer this question, first you have to ask
yourself if you need a relationship. Just as you need a job or you
need to find a flat, wouldn't you go for an employment agent or a
property agent for help? You will properly talk to your friends,
family, search in the newspaper, do whatever you can to maximize the
chance of finding what you want. All these do not guarantee your
success, however it does increase your chances of successes. I
wonder why sometimes people are feeling uncomfortable when going to
a match maker for relationships, would you consider a person going
to a property agent as incompatible?
Still, the idea that great relationships "just happen"
persists, and this false belief is preventing you from finding a
relationship. We understand that making something happen in our
careers requires planning, perseverance, time and hard work, but we
think that finding a relationship shouldn't. We believe that fate
works, and it put us just at the right place in the right time to
meet our true love.
This may be more true when we are young. Youngsters
come together, they are basically single and in the same age group,
things happen during our school years naturally, they could meet a
lot of new friends even in a library. But when we grow up, we go to
work, go home and go to work again, day after day, and wonder why
relationships are not spontaneously happening as they supposed to.
And you will find yourself waiting for someone to knock on your door
one day to say "I'm the one".
So if you are not the lucky one, act now, as you need
We hear people say, "your expectation must be too
high, lower it a little bit and you can surely find the one."
I will advise the contrary, especially for mature
people, your standards should be high. I firmly believe that if
being with someone isn't going to make your life exponentially
better, then don't bother it. It is preferable to be alone than to
wish you were.
However, bearing in mind that no one is perfect, and
you are not perfect too. As love is actually not blind,
"infatuation" is. You love your children and accept their
shortcomings because you love them. On the other hand, infatuation
is blind, you cannot see the shortcomings and believe he/she is
perfect, but bear in mind, no one is.
So ask yourself the following questions:
Do I respect this person enough that I want to be more
If we get married and have a child who is the
spitting-image of my spouse, will I be happy?
If my partner's personality and habits stay exactly as
they are today, will I be happy 20, 30, 40 years down the
If you can't say "yes" to each of these three
questions, you're probably entering a marriage that won't meet your
expectations. This will leave you disappointed and most likely, very
Think about these questions now, before you are
committed to a relationship. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache
Time spent dating the wrong person, in the end, is
lost time with your eventual spouse. Therefore, finding ways to
accelerate the dating process should be a top